366

I woke up cursing for it was the last day of the folds of our carefully crafted time, I woke up to a normal, monotonous day, few smirks here and there,

More of clueless sprinkles,

I woke up cursing for it was the end of the year, yet again, 

How was this year?

Different. As always. 

Then why do I feel so hollow?

Some things, I never truly understood. 

Some things, confuse me so much that the fact that it’s all such a huge complication makes me want it more. 

What funny things, feelings, am I right?

Let me take you on a journey, but before that, let me say that I have no control on my writing, just fingers doing what they wish, the mind barely involved. 

She sat down on the chair, eating, waiting for the typical 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 countdown to begin, 

Funny thing is, 

Aren’t our minds set five minutes ahead to be five minutes early?

She counted along, went to different bars, same monotonous sounds everywhere, loud music, drunk people, almost getting shoved,

It was the first of January,

She was happy, she was completely different to the girl who she turned out to be by the end of each month

To the girl shaming her past self, for being so so stupid

But she always forgot, 

Aren’t we all, always stupid?

It was February, exam month, 

Disappointing as hell. 

Rides, she remembered rides, tilted from the world, completely upside down, how bonkers, right?

then back to normal again 

March arrived, flew by, barely remembered of,

New grade , new class high school, school bells ringing and relieving her, she never really liked school, always an introvert,

April, oh, her birthday month, 

Dances , so many dances, getting closer to people she never before thought she would, what a ride it was,

April, the travel month, self discovery, found beauty within the curves that make sense to us all,

Insecurities, 

Laughing,

So 

Much

Laughter

So 

Much

Darkness

So

Much 

Happiness,

Oh, how she loved the month April, 

How she still does,

The masks of innocence in it all,

May arrived,

Then June did too, 

That , you see, was when the change occurred,

New people

New laughter 

New self,

New confidence 

New kind of happiness and surprises 

Let’s skip all the way to August, shall we?

You have no say in it anyway,

Ah, August was a month indeed, 

Beauty in its own ways,

Betrayal in its own ways,

Picture getting punched mentally by a person that was least expected from, 

From a person whom you loved so so much,

Now,

The funny part,

She never really broke, 

She merely became someone else,

She buried her past self,

And embraced this new confused one,

Then came the escaped sunlight from between the trees in her garden, oh, all the senseless talks, fights, pretty conversations and thoughts,

New people, she thought to herself,

Ones whom she could trust, not like last time, obviously. Right?

October came, so did November, both flew by, nothing to be recalled of. 

December, now that was the highlight,

Her heart, she got it cracked, not broken, but cracked, yet again, by someone emotionless and dependent, clueless with a know it all attitude, let’s not forget the childish side it claimed was humor, and the other side , self proclaimed to be smartness. 

Let’s not forget how she found more people, 

Always an extrovert. 

Nights filled with laughter and ignorance of it all

The girl however, learnt so much, became someone entirely different, rose from the ashes of her past, oh don’t you miss the naïve old one?

That concludes her 366 paged story, skipped a few pages, like we would with any slow book. 

The Meticulous Button. 

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